Title: Familiarity Breeds Contempt
Rating: PG
Summary: It’s easy to lose yourself in the feeling of being loved by someone.
Disclaimer: I do not own Lost. At all. I wish but alas...
Author's Note: I seem to be giving Sawyer as much presense in my fics as he’s been getting on the show lately. This thing came to me last night, and seems to have rectified that situation good and well. Used for lostsquee, lyric prompt: Don’t ask me what I think of you, I might not give the answers that you want me to. Fleetwood Mac - Oh Well.



It’s easy to lose yourself in the feeling of being loved by someone.

It never was, with any woman before her; but there’s something about her. She’s not gorgeous. She’s not model pretty. But she’s spunky, and she’s smart, and no, you don’t love her, and yes, you’re using her, but she still gets to you.

You’re corrupting her, teaching her how to lie, how to cheat, how to be like you (like him). And a part of you loves that, a part of you takes pride in watching her grow and blossom, and get better and better at it.

The other part of you – the part you’ve spent nearly all your life ignoring – is disgusted: by you, by her, by your whole damned life, by the low you’ve sunk to and the knowledge that you can sink further.

But that same part of you is the part that makes you stay, because you may not love Cassidy, but you respect her, and maybe that’s more important than love. Maybe it means more than love. You stay, longer than you should, because she loves you, and you need that.

The love of a woman you can’t respect means nothing to you; the love of a woman you do respect means more than you care to admit.

And you resent her love as much as you crave it.