♥ - Ficlet: Survivor's Guilt (Charlie/Claire, Desmond)

♥

Ficlet: Survivor's Guilt (Charlie/Claire, Desmond)

27th-Oct-2007 09:40 pm

Title: Survivor's Guilt
Rating: PG
Summary: She can’t hate him because he was there when it happened. She can’t hate him because he couldn’t save Charlie. She can’t even hate him because he’s there to hate.
Disclaimer: I do not own Lost. At all. I wish but alas...
Author's Note: Set post-'Through the Looking Glass'

She can’t hate him. She tries, but she can’t.

She can’t hate him because he was there when it happened. She can’t hate him because he couldn’t save Charlie. She can’t even hate him because he’s there to hate.

She can’t hate him because she sees the way she feels reflected in his eyes. He looks hollowed out and empty. He looks devastated and broken. He looks the way that she feels, the way she’s sure she looks to everyone else, but especially to him.

Charlie’s death binds them together, the pain so intense that they can only take comfort in each other because they are the only ones that can understand.

Desmond had been there when it had happened, watched as Charlie had accepted his fate, as he faded away. Claire had been the one left behind, waiting for a man that she loved, a man that would never return.

She wants to hate him for being the one that Charlie had taken with him, the man that had harbored his secrets, the man that had been there to say goodbye. She wants to hate him for things that aren’t his fault so that she can have someone to direct all of her anger, and her pain, toward.

She wants to hate him, but the way that he finds her in the night, sitting on the edge of the ocean, crying as the waves crash in, the way he pulls her into his arms and rocks her back and forth – the way that Charlie had done for her child – dulls her anger, sends it away, never to return.

She doesn’t hate Desmond. She needs him; to help her through, to pick her up, to remember Charlie with her.

Tags:fic, lost, lost fic, lost fic: charlie/claire, lost fic: claire, lost fic: desmond
Mood:bored
Music:You're Missing - Bruce Springsteen

Comments

28th-Oct-2007 05:32 am (UTC)

sassywitch

Such a beautiful, sad peice, makes me remember why I love Charlie/Claire so much.

28th-Oct-2007 05:33 am (UTC)

isis2015

Thank you. :) I'm glad to hear you liked it.

28th-Oct-2007 10:54 am (UTC)

lenina20

oooooh! This is so beautiful! And so perfect! I loved it, to pieces. I love fics that focused on Charlie and Desmond coping together with the pain of losing Charlie and how the trnagedy brings them together. And this one was amazing.

She wants to hate him, but the way that he finds her in the night, sitting on the edge of the ocean, crying as the waves crash in, the way he pulls her into his arms and rocks her back and forth – the way that Charlie had done for her child – dulls her anger, sends it away, never to return.

Beautiful and heartbreaking.

28th-Oct-2007 07:28 pm (UTC)

isis2015

I think that the fact that Claire loved Charlie and that Desmond was there when he died really does create a bond between them. And I can see Claire wanting to be angry at him just so she'll have someone to be angry at, but I also see her needing him too.

Thanks for reading, and for your feedback. :) I'm glad you enjoyed this.

28th-Oct-2007 02:16 pm (UTC)

charliepaceluv

very nice job, for some reason it makes me think of all the good times that Charlie and Claire had together... R.I.P Charlie Pace

28th-Oct-2007 07:28 pm (UTC)

isis2015

Thank you. :)

28th-Oct-2007 04:13 pm (UTC)

jenthegypsy

Thank you. Thank you for writing a ficlet in which Desmond is not demonized, raked through the coals, drawn and quartered. Frankly, I'm sick of reading Desmond is the heart of darkness fic. Your story is quite plausible - and comforting beyond words. Thank you for writing it.

28th-Oct-2007 07:31 pm (UTC)

isis2015

I really don't understand what would make anyone demonize Desmond? Is it his fault Charlie's dead? No. Last time I checked, it was the one-eyed guy with the bomb's fault. Desmond was just there, and I think that people would like to stick some blame on his shoulders for just that fact. I also think Claire might want to to, but, like I said, I think they're bound together by Charlie's death, and that they're going to need each other next season. So I think Claire's smart enough to not be able to no matter how hard she tries.

28th-Oct-2007 07:58 pm (UTC)

jenthegypsy

&hearts

28th-Oct-2007 08:13 pm (UTC)

isis2015

:) *hugs*

28th-Oct-2007 06:53 pm (UTC)

hopelessfangirl

Beautiful. I always saw Claire, Hurley and Desmond taking Charlie's death the hardest, and it's nice to see that Desmond isn't being blamed or put in a negative light here.

♥

28th-Oct-2007 07:32 pm (UTC)

isis2015

I don't get the people who blame Desmond. How is what happened even remotely his fault? :/ Sometimes, people just want someone to blame. Which is, oddly enough, kinda the point of this. I think Claire will be angry and heartbroken and will want someone to blame. Maybe it'll be Desmond. But I also have faith in the fact that she's smart enough to realize that they're connected to each other by Charlie's death and that they'll probably need each other to pick themselves back up.

28th-Oct-2007 10:28 pm (UTC)

falafel_fiction

I think the blame thing comes from Desmond being the one who told Charlie he had to die for Claire and Aaron to be rescued. Damon himself has said that in S4 Desmond will question the influence he had over Charlies death. I don't blame Desmond, but I do think that he had too much faith AND assumption in his flashes. Some fans feel like brainwashed Charlie.

I hate the thought of Des being scapegoated, but I do think Claire will be angry at him. Claire often has hysterics and lashes out at people. And I'm not sure I agree that Claire is smart. Claire is one of those characters I like much better in fanfic than on the show - you portrayed her nicely here!

28th-Oct-2007 10:38 pm (UTC)

isis2015

Claire often has hysterics and lashes out at people. And I'm not sure I agree that Claire is smart.

I agree. I acknowledge that I can idealize certain characters and give them traits I wish they had instead of ones that they actually do. I know Claire will more than likely blame Desmond, but I like to hope that she will come around to the fact that it's not really his fault. I, honestly, think Desmond did everything he could to save Charlie's life, over and over again. I just think that some people look for someone to blame, and Desmond is a convenient target just because he was there.

28th-Oct-2007 11:16 pm (UTC)

falafel_fiction

It seems twisted that Desmond should get the blame "because he was there". Desmond was the only one who even tried to protect Charlie. Apart from Hurley (who wanted to help) everyone else just let Charlie go off on a suicide mission. If Desmond is held responsible and not Ben (who ordered Mikhail to kill Charlie) it'll be appalling.

28th-Oct-2007 11:18 pm (UTC)

isis2015

If Desmond is held responsible and not Ben (who ordered Mikhail to kill Charlie) it'll be appalling.

Exactly. :/ There's a bit of self-fulfilling prophecy at work her, but, at the end of the day, the reason that Charlie is dead is because of Mikhail.

29th-Oct-2007 02:26 am (UTC)

elise_509

Poor Claire. I am saddened to think how she will take Charlie's death, especially considering how hard it was for her to open up and trust him. It was a big deal for her to open herself up to that and then to lose it...it's so sad. And Desmond, I know, is going to feel so guilty and so lost over how things happened. The play between them in the aftermath of this is going to be fascinating and I think you've captured the push/pull of anger and need that is surely going to be there.

29th-Oct-2007 02:35 am (UTC)

isis2015

Honestly, I think Claire will blame Desmond. I can see it clearly in my mind. It isn't fair, and I think she'll come to understand that, but I can see her blaming Desmond even though he did nothing to earn it. I can also see Desmond blaming himself, so...yeah, it's not a happy future these two are in for. :(

29th-Oct-2007 04:43 am (UTC)

meagan4dominic

You know how much I love your work & this piece was no different. Just so gorgeously bittersweet. I love the way that Claire couldn't hate Desmond, even though it seemed only natural for her to hate him & the ending was so fantastic!

29th-Oct-2007 04:47 am (UTC)

isis2015

Thank you! :) I'm so glad you liked this piece. ♥ That's always lovely to hear.

29th-Oct-2007 06:47 am (UTC)

sapphire_child

Oh...

Short pieces can often pack so much more emotion in than epic rambling novels. And this...was one of those.

Beautiful.

29th-Oct-2007 06:52 am (UTC)

isis2015

Thank you. :) That's lovely of you to say.

30th-Oct-2007 02:08 am (UTC)

summerrrain

Oh wow..This was just beautiful. I can't imagine Lost without Charlie and I'm not sure I want to. :( I can tell there's definately going to be a lot of tears for me when Claire finds out what Charlie did, and I imagine it'll be so hard on poor Desmond.

Thank you for writing such a wonderful fic that really illustrated what both of them will have to go through! This was just beautiful. :) ♥

30th-Oct-2007 02:16 am (UTC)

isis2015

Thanks. :) I'm glad to hear that you liked this. Thanks for reading. ♥

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