Title: To Forgive
Rating: PG
Summery: She had always wondered if knowing would be better then not knowing, and now she had her answer. It was better. She knew that there wasn’t someone lurking in the shadows, waiting to attack her once more.
Disclaimer: I do not own Lost. At all. The quote used is a quote from Buffy the Vampire Slayer. I don't own that either.
Author's Note: I have certain feelings about Sawyer as relates to The Long Con (don't worry, I still love him, just not the choices that he makes ;D) that are not shared by a lot of the fandom. And that's fine. I'm by no means complaining about that. It's fine and I don't mind at all. But this was sort of like fic therapy for me. Also, this was written for psych_30, prompt # 15: Halo Effect.



To forgive is an act of compassion. It's not done because people deserve it. It's done because they need it.

“He killed a frog.”

Sun looked at him, screwing up her face, confused.

“What?” she questioned with a small laugh. Hurley was with her in the garden, kneeling next to her, keeping her company while occasionally passing her a fresh bulb to plant or a bottle of water to pour on the earth around the almost fully grown plants.

But mostly he was talking, at length, about whatever he could think of. It had started with TV, moved to pets and running water, and eventually landed on Sawyer. Neither of them quite knew how.

“A frog,” He repeated. “We spent the afternoon chasing it around the jungle and when we found it…he just killed it.”

Sun turned her attention back to the ground underneath her hands. “Why?” she asked.

“ ‘Cause he’s a jerk.”

“Hurley.”

“I don’t know why,” Hurley admitted bitterly. “But he is a jerk.”

Sun sighed, burying a fresh bulb underneath the earth and thinking back to a week before.



“Sun.”

She looked up quickly and saw Sawyer walking through the tall grass and into her garden. She brushed the dirt off of her hands and leaned back on her heels.

“Hello Sawyer,” she replied.

“I gotta tell you something.”

She narrowed her eyes. She couldn’t help but wonder what Sawyer possibly had to talk to her about. It had been a long time since he had come to her, complaining of headaches, and even then she hadn’t been much help. Now they had even less to talk about. But she did know that the fact that Sawyer looked incredibly uncomfortable, uncertain, was making her very nervous.

“Alright,” she replied, confused.

“I did it.”

She screwed up her face. “What?”

He gestures to the scab on her forehead and her heart dropped out. She touched it unconsciously and took a deep breath.

“Why?” she asked, evenly. She hoped it didn’t sound too shocked, or desperate. She was shocked, yes, but the fact that Sawyer was even here, telling her this, spoke volumes. He didn’t scare her. All she wanted was an explanation.

He went on to explain himself as rapidly as possible. It all came out jumbled together and Sun wondered why he was telling her this at all, if she was supposed to understand his motivation, how his mind worked. But she listened, taking it all in. She had always wondered if knowing would be better then not knowing, and now she had her answer. It was better. She knew that there wasn’t someone lurking in the shadows, waiting to attack her once more. She knew that it wasn’t even really about her. And that offered her a very perverted sense of comfort.

She took another deep breath and said, “I forgive you.”

That made his eyes go wide. He stared at her, stunned. It obviously hadn’t been the reaction that he had expected, or that, she feared, he was used to. She was sure that was why he left then, without saying a word. He just tore his eyes away from her, raised himself to his feet, and left.

She couldn’t help but feel that Sawyer would have felt better, more comfortable, if she had screamed and swore and ordered him to get away from her. But that wasn’t her, and she did forgive him. Even if he didn’t want it.

With a sigh, she turned back to her garden, pushing the earth over a line of freshly planted seeds.



“No one is one thing all the time Hurley,” Sun replied. Hurley shrugged at her and she turned to face him. “Hand me that bulb please.” He did, watching her as she dug a fresh hole for it and placed it inside. “Sawyer is…complicated,” she added.

“I guess,” Hurley replied. “Just seems like a big waste of time trying to figure out a guy if all he’s gonna do is bite your head off for it in the end.”

“Maybe. But just because it is easier to believe that Sawyer is a bad person based on one incident does not make it right. Nor does it make what you are saying true. How much do you really know about him?”

Hurley frowned. “So you’re saying Sawyer is a good person?” he asked.

“No,” she replied. “I am saying that he is neither. Yet.”

“You lost me.”

She laughed and gathered herself to her feet. Hurley followed and together they walked back toward the beach.

“Give him time Hurley,” Sun said as they reached his tent. “People have been known to surprise you when you’d least expect it.”

With a smile, she turned and headed to her own tent. She caught sight of Sawyer, reading outside of his tent as he always did. He looked up at her and for the first time in a week, he met her eyes.

She smirks at him slightly as she enters her tent.

Yes. People can surprise you.