Fandom: Lost
Title: Notice
Rating: PG
Disclaimer: I do not own Lost, or any of the characters there in.
A/N: Wow, it's been a long time since I've posted a fic. I also hope this is realistic, because I'm slightly unsure. Also, this was written for psych_30, where I claimed Sun, for prompt #22: libido.





Micheal had been the first. He’d been the first man she’d ever noticed in any meaningful way. It was easy to watch, from the shadows, when no one notices you, they can’t notice your attention.

When she allowed her mind to wander, she thought about what it would be like to be someone else’s wife – not necessarily Michael’s wife, but…someone. She wondered if Michael could give her children. She wondered how he would treat her, like a flower that needed attention and nurturing but also space to thrive, or like a bird, confined to a guilded cage for fear of flight.

Yes, Michael was the first, but he wasn’t the last. Sun wasn’t blind. She was well aware of the fact that she co-existed with many attractive men, who had all, at one point, managed to get their shirts off (for one reason or another). And it wasn’t as though she was immune from the natural feelings that tended to accompany such actions. She would be a liar to say that it didn’t momentarily steal her attention away.

It was more then that though, more then physical attraction and knee-jerk lust. It was their other qualities, good and bad, that mesmerized her and caused her mind to wander.

Sawyer was beautiful, but broken and jagged around the edges. Sayid was kind, but distant and full of burdening memories. Jack was devoted, but unable to accept and reconcile his own failures in life. And the list went on…

It wasn’t the men that they were that interested her, but the men she saw in all of them, just beneath the surface. She saw who they could become, but would never be.

It didn’t matter though, how far away her mind wandered, how much she dreamed and fantasized. Her mind always came back to Jin. Because, for all of the physical attraction and knee-jerk lust, he was the only one she loved.